UPDATED

Top quotes by Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman's top quotes. 'I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.' 'My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.'


0 contributions

40 Views 0
 
Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/ee/65/d5/ee65d53df775aeb0124e4ee4d149d709.jpg

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/df/5c/3d/df5c3db1c01d6e8f8c91a6b1f73db809.jpg

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/3e/77/a5/3e77a5558b3fcd482b2de94b956524a8.jpg

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/d8/c3/32/d8c33236c29c3f21c88bbefd24399e7c.jpg

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/4e/4a/b0/4e4ab00350bc4943e966893316ece399.jpg

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/d9/6a/f8/d96af83128ba55d986cea2031864d6bf.jpg

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/8c/bf/cd/8cbfcdef7c2891e109c53ddbd51476f0.jpg

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/ba/fa/bd/bafabd039684cca5010a24cf43cc50ab.jpg

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/68/32/66/683266a57fd5b0232a1464b29a652cba.jpg

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/75/12/f2/7512f2d4929b426f02b6b7eaabda67db.jpg

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/a0/9a/a4/a09aa45032995b3a74e95cf9215e6783.jpg

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/42/38/36/423836f3c1973f22aa74cccff85fc6af.jpg

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/fc/e5/54/fce55402407058579017dbedac79dfe1.jpg

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/d4/fb/83/d4fb833942e857dbd24efbdbf83cec69.jpg

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/1f/4d/c6/1f4dc657f1c20e10a5e95f0e6d701f2a.jpg

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/05/fa/3a/05fa3a2694d0f7b9cb731f0b9e9e8851.jpg

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/8c/f4/04/8cf404cd6682fb40fa1cd37f5986d30b.jpg

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/fc/bd/f0/fcbdf0372108a284d47e4d6d2998d18c.jpg

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/a0/b2/0f/a0b20f3faff4dafba694cc2960a70178.jpg

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.


Top quotes by Henny Youngman-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/41/b9/d1/41b9d18e6ac047ec6d7b0a56ea7fc4ef.jpg

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.



Please login before Adding Contribution

LOGIN


Input Item is required

{{value.error}} Invalid Url Found


{{value.title|truncate:'50':'...'}}

{{value.description|truncate:'70':'...'}}

Source:{{value.url|truncate:'50':'...'}}
{{value.error}} {{value.serror}} Input Item is Required





Source:{{value.cite}}





{{value.error}} Input Item is Required



Instagram Logo
{{value.error}} Input Item is Required



{{value.error}} {{value.serror}} Input Item is Required





{{value.snippet.title}}

{{value.snippet.description|truncate:'20':'...'}} {{value.snippet.channelTitle}}
Views {{value.statistics.viewCount|number}}


Preview will appear here..
No Gifs Found