Top quotes by Karl Pilkington

Karl Pilkington's top quotes. 'I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.'

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I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.

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It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.

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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.

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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.

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I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt.

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I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.

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People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.

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That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.

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Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'

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I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference.

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I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage.

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If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.

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Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.

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People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.

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I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.

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I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.

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I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash.

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They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?

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I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit.

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I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

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