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Top quotes by Steven Wright

Steven Wright's top quotes. 'Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.' 'I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.'


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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.


I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.


I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'


I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.


I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.


I like to reminisce with people I don't know.


I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.


I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.


You can't have everything. Where would you put it?


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?


What a nice night for an evening.


A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.


The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.


I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.


I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.


I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.


What's another word for Thesaurus?


There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.


I invented the cordless extension cord.


Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.



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