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Top quotes by Steven Wright

Steven Wright's top quotes. 'Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.' 'I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.'


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Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/05/f0/a0/05f0a0f66d76b0596b41ec5a9f426837.jpg

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/f9/0b/8c/f90b8c57f1277e561bdd7f9b3a6b003a.jpg

I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/ce/b5/2f/ceb52f9b068c4e3935e3b0217268e4e7.jpg

I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/bb/19/d8/bb19d8a0646e045f843e85ef722cdb48.jpg

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/db/78/ff/db78ff6bb2ca609291b32539586f6420.jpg

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/bc/01/23/bc0123c843466e88392a24aea821f9d4.jpg

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/b1/b9/0a/b1b90ab446751d0b32bd7eb4e9008c45.jpg

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/56/a6/1b/56a61b112607186f760c3b7314a08afe.jpg

I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/77/3e/ae/773eaec11cbfcf69104f2f4eac1f2e04.jpg

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/6d/c2/00/6dc20006d141e10333b56b1d4a776f4a.jpg

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/b7/ea/f7/b7eaf7ecd3aa7a1158fd3696c19684b8.jpg

What a nice night for an evening.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/a4/85/07/a48507de139c5c3e45e87ffcdfaa89b2.jpg

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/9d/c6/4c/9dc64c2dceaf9bfbaf31fd9d538ea7b8.jpg

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/11/8e/d1/118ed190200301ef724665c7cb158e8f.jpg

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/f3/96/98/f39698bd6900f28f8042c22f7c005783.jpg

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/06/c6/12/06c612aa661a7f8037e1273abfd9764d.jpg

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/5e/1e/1f/5e1e1f5a3f8d642de3425c4753f73773.jpg

What's another word for Thesaurus?


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/2b/d5/74/2bd574bc0bc4675e599e345110e50fcb.jpg

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/6e/b4/26/6eb426c50930a00bedc9ea9fdc9f2aa3.jpg

I invented the cordless extension cord.


Top quotes by Steven Wright-https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/ab/55/7d/ab557d2a22b65c3ea66880af069e6cce.jpg

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.



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